VENOMOUSsssss

The phenomenon of cheating has been around since the time the first woman cried foul. She must have felt the slings and pangs of outrageous fortune, having been cheated by her partner.

I don’t know when that was.

One thing I know, though, is that proof of this cheating phenomenon is not wanting. The Internet alone is crawling with such titles as 12 Cheating Myths, Cheating 101, Cheating Made Easy, How to Spot a Cheater, How To Spot a Cheater in the Dark, How to Spot a Cheater from the Corner of Your Eye, Your Gut Tells You He’s Cheating, Your Heart Tells You He’s Cheating, His Hands Tell You He’s Cheating, He Cheated - So What!, and so on and so forth.

Honesty must be the loneliest word.

It’s been said that being cheated devastates a woman. For many reasons, I can imagine. Betrayal of trust is one of the more common raison d’etre for hurting.

There is a gender bias statement here. I write, you judge: When a man cheats, he’s macho and suave with girls. (Lucky guy! What does he have that I don’t, huh?) When a woman cheats, she’s a whore. (Or whore-like, or promiscuous, or ‘easy,’ etc. etc.)

Almost always the center of debate in the issue of infidelity is between the man and the woman of legitimate status in the partnership scheme. The First Woman (let’s call her that) seems to enjoy the full rights of legitimacy.

In patriarchal societies, such as the Philippines that was ruled by Spain and its friars for 300 years, the legitimate female partner that cheats in a relationship suffers the worst and most painful of criticism. Her entire clan can look down on her for doing so.

On the other hand, the Other Woman (let’s call this one that) enjoys a more rosy reputation. She will still most likely fall under the generic category of ‘whore,’ but this time, ‘whore’ of the savvy kind.

In this country, the Other Woman is called ahas. That’s the Filipino word for snake. More colloquially, she is called ‘anaconda.’ It’s probably the sinful, deadly, and maliciously scheming metaphor of the snake that translated into the linguistic representation of the concept. Otherwise, it can be the characteristic of the anaconda to swallow an animal whole (supply your pun at your own risk).

While the First Woman is deemed a loser who was weighed but found wanting, the Other Woman is regarded as a winner with plus, plus points.

In the realm of infidelity, the rules of competition between the First Woman and the Other Woman have been handed down by the dictates of their society. These rules govern how society sees them both, as well as how they see themselves respectively.

After the storm, there are three characters in search of a more peaceful plot.

If I were the man, I’d contritely say, “I’m not sure if I should feel happy because I won another woman or feel sad that I lost one…”

If I were the Other Woman, I’d haughtily say, “Beat that!”

If I were the First Woman, I’d probably say, “It will be a long time before I can trust again…”

No, I’m lying. Personally, I’d say “Kill!!!” But of course you can do that either of two ways: with kindness or with a sharp, blunt, ultra-thin edged instrument of the metallic kind.

Infidelity is about losing. The man loses a loyal partner. The First Woman loses the capability to trust.

What does the Other Woman got to lose?